Monday, December 15, 2008

What Drake said...

"With me, women be building these skeptical walls/ But once you slept with one dime, man, you've slept with them all."

Hip-hop, where would I be without you?

This is my attitude toward women who behave as though white, black, and Mexican Jesus personally placed the holy grail between their vaginal walls, equipped them with anaconda-like constricting muscle control, and laced it with 8 different forms of crack cocaine for extra security.

Ladies, grow up and "act like an adult for once." Trix are for kids.

I've been fortunate to have had a number of quality females in my life, which then makes it evermore difficult to deal with chicks who treat their pum pum as the carrot at the end of a stick and my penis as the horse. To put it frankly: If you act like that, then the cooter must not be that good. My honest opinion is that any chick who has to behave in such a manner does so because the chase is more exciting than the actual catch. And I'll be damned if I'm out fishing, feel something heavy on the line and put in work to get it in the boat, only to find out it's a friggin seaweed infested boot.

Either that, or you just don't know what you want in life.

But a big part of the fault lies with the dudes who encourage said behaviors. Then these females come around me and think I'm gonna give them attention because
  1. They think I have limited experience with females, especially attractive ones. (The gift and the curse of keeping ur personal life personal.) So they truly believe that I will fall for them simply because they give me attention. (Sorry, I don't have mommy and daddy issues--that trick won't work.)
  2. They are unaware that I have stellar references. (same gift. same curse.) The strong move quiet. The weak start riots.
  3. The other weak niggas they've been with let them get away with that bulldiddy and allowed them to think it was acceptable.

This is usually what happens next:
  • Female becomes perplexed that my interest level has diminished, wherein casual encounters are devoid of any previous flirtation, but still ripe with charm.
  • Female then becomes interested in my disinterest, usually much to her own chagrin, as she feels the locus of control moving from her hands into mine.
  • At some point, such interest is made apparent, via drunken encounter or chance text message.
  • I respond flatly with mild indifference, further frustrating said female.
  • This continues indefinitely until:
  • An offer is made to meet some point after where, desperate for attention, said female willingly places herself in a compromising situation. (e.g. any request to hang out at a person's place of residence any time when one should be sleeping, especially if one is already sleepy. Extra desperation if the female travels to the guy's crib despite her own claims of drowsiness.)
  • Gotcha bitch!
Now, I've borne witness to this phenomenon and seen the baddest females fall, and sometimes I pity them. Though it may not seem as such, I'm not tryna play games here. I genuinely lose interest in any female who is playing coy because she thinks she's God's gift to reproductive organs. I've often moved on to somebody else more worthy of my efforts and with a more secure sense of who they are and what they want, which in turn, bruises the pride of the girl who thinks she's got the golden chalice cooter. At this point, it's just about seizing an opportunity with minimal cost and optimal benefit.

But the best way to avoid all of this is to be clear. Know what you want, and be clear about it. Most men do this instinctively. Some too much so. Women, however, have been conditioned to believe that such behavior is unlady-like and even whorish. It's not. Now, if you wanna boink every man you see, you may need to seek psychiatric attention and work out some personal issues, but if a dude strikes your fancy and you think it might be interesting to let him push you on the swings, say something and kill the tomfoolery. If you like what you get, cool. If not, it's not like you're tied to the nigga forever. Be real, say it wasn't what I'd hoped for and move on. It saves both of you time just in case 1.) it's a great combination so you get to skip all the pre-shenanigan shenanigans, or 2.) it's not great, so you don't have to spend time with someone only to find out it wasn't worth your time.

Maybe I'm weird, but this all makes sense to me. And I honestly feel that the world would be a much better place if dudes took the attitude of Drake. Thoughts?

1 comment:

quarter-life-crisis said...

I totally agree. If we (meaning man and woman) are honest and upfront, it will eliminate a lot of unnecessary bullsh**. However with this comes maturity and responsibilty.