Sunday, March 15, 2009

White Niggas I Fucks Wit

I'm not sure what's the cause of this lapse in ethnic pride, but there's a few white ppl who, if given the chance, I would invite to the family barbeque. The reasons vary, but I consider them all the truest white niggas in the game.

This white woman is like the Aretha Franklin of white people music to me. I say this because true soul music comes from *drumroll* the soul and carries with it all the nuances of a culture. There's a reason that Deep South down-home country soul music sounds like it does. There's a reason all black people can relate to it. It captures all the raw pain and sorrow, joy and hope, of a people, our people. In some way, I feel like Feist is so unapologetically and authentically white that she communicates the same thing for white people like Aretha does for us. I'm left feeling like, "Oh, this is how white ppl feel." It's different man, yall [white ppl] be on some other ish. It's cool though. I'm sure it seems like I'm jumping out the window with this one, but yo, Leslie Feist is the truth. She's the essence of whiteness from this imaginary place called Canada.

Chuck Norris
If it was McCain/Norris instead of McCain/Palin last November, I don't think our President would be black (nor would our Lambo's be blue).

Matt Damon
Yeah, some of yall might expect me to pick Brad Pitt. I mean, Brad does get to put his penis between Angelina's lips--which I think is as close to Muslim heaven as mere mortals can get--, but as far as actors go, Matt Damon is the most gifted in the world. Dude can act his [insert "no homo"-disclaimer worthy object here] off.

Penelope Cruz
Black women, I'm sorry. Penelope Cruz can have my children right now. I have this thing for talent. There are a lot of beautiful women in the world, but not many of them are talented. She's both, and both in both (as in beautifully talented and talented in her beauty--if that's possible). Plus she's only, like, one of the greatest genetic phenomena of our time. (Did you know there were two of them?!)

Michael Jackson
Because, white or black, he's still the greatest entertainer of all time.

Bill Clinton
I know we got Obama, but be real, Clinton was the first black president.

Sean Connery
Coolest white dude ever.

Honorable Mention:
Kanye West
We lost Michael. We'll eventually lose him too.

1 comment:

Duy Lam said...

hahaha your kanye comment is hilarious