It's been a long time since one of these, and some of yall might feel as tho you've caught up to me in the "flyest nigga on the block" department, so allow me this moment to rhapsodize.Today was a simple day. I decided to skip class and enjoy the day doing other things. At some point, the decision was made to head downtown to run some errands. I found myself in the neighborhood of the Ralph Lauren store and decided to go ahead and throw in some window shopping at one of my favorite high-priced haunts.
Greeting me as I walked down Broad toward Walnut were the words "SALE" in simple white along each of the windows of the store. "Hmm," I thought, "maybe I'll pick up a pair of socks." I walked in, gave the obligatory head nod and hello to the employees and started my rummaging through the sale items. After passing on an obnoxiously-colored mustard linen shirt (yes, mustard), I did a round of the rest of the store to satiate my cashmere dreams.
Before I left, I decided to go ahead and run back to the sale section to see if, perhaps, I'd missed something. It turned out, I had.
I've been in the market for a suit for about the past 6 months. Problem is, I got caviar taste and a cheap beer budget. I couldn't afford the look that I wanted.
The look: slim cut, narrow lapels--possibly peak, conservatively colored, double vented, single breasted, 2 or 3 button, wool or wool and something classy blend that I could wear for the rest of my life, or at least the next 10-20 years. Bonus points if it's Italian made.
The price for a well-made suit fitting that description: $1500+
Now, although I'm fly, I'm by no means a baller. But I'm too much of a snob to even set foot into a Men's Warehouse. Even though I'm broke, I balk at the notion of a pressed-lapel suit whose retail price is $200. I have sneakers worth more than that. Still, it's what I can afford. I'm not even gonna mention Zara, H&M, Express, and some of the other places you people buy suits from.
As a kid, ma dukes always held me down in the suit department. She worked a department store floor like a natural born hustler. Nothing is as good as I want it to be and all prices are negotiable. She'd bring home thousand dollar suits that she paid Men's Warehouse prices for. She's a G. She found the joints on sale and then found stuff that was wrong with them so she could argue the price down. She's a G.
But I'm grown now; a brother's gotta handle his own B.I., and after talking to mother dearest about suitable pricepoints for what I was looking for and what I could afford, I had come to grips with the fact that the best I could do was get a suit for $500-$700, which basically meant something I'd have but not really like, unless I got lucky.
I'm at the Ralph Lauren store and before me is a pretty standard suit: navy blue with fine pinstripes, peak lapel, the tag lets me know it's Black Label. I pick it up, check it out, it's nice. It's even my size, which is always hard to find because they're the first to go.
I pick up the tag and look at it. It's a $[insert unnecessary sum of money] suit, but it's on sale for significantly less. Like "You're on candid camera" less. Well, maybe not that much less, but still, it was a very nice lil price cut nonetheless.
Today was my lucky day. The suit fit perfect off the rack--Ralph's ish tends to do that (pause)--but since it was a major suit purchase, your boy had to complete it properly with proper tailoring to make sure it nipped and tucked at the appropriate places. I guess that's the proper intro into the Gear Guide.
There's not much I can add to the plethora of Suit Buying Guides on the internet and in Men's Magazine. Every other issue of GQ has a "How to Buy a Suit" feature that essentially says the same thing over and over again:
1. A suit should fit the shoulders
2. Blah
3. Blah
4. Blah
5. Don't look like a NBA/NFL player.
Really, that's the only thing that matters to me as far as suit buying goes. Sorry if you guys expected more out this one, but that's really all I've got. Honestly, it's also the most help I can provide. The biggest problem with suits is that most of the time, the problem is that the suit just isn't the right size. Suits were never meant to fall past the shoulders. And then it's the ppl who take "extra medium" literally and buy young suits because they think it's the style. I shake my head at you freaks. These are the ppl most likely to be seen sockless while wearing the aforementioned, ill-fitting suit. That's a lotta bacteria incubating in a lotta different places. Yuck.
Outside of those people, it's the other ones that still think box toe shoes are fly. These individuals buy synthetic suits in such colors as: kool-aid red, FUBU green, Purple (yeah just "Purple), and other assorted colors found in the rainbows of our planet and others heretofore unknown. These suits usually come in pairs, as in "2 for 119.99," and feature unprecedented sartorial accoutrement the likes of which haver never been seen: special back vents, super long jackets, wide and heavily-cuffed pants, and of course, completely pinstriped. (Windowpanes for the more conservative tho.)
Those same people, upon entering the business world, buy those same exact suits, except in brown, gray, or black. If you are of this ilk, our tastes are different. You tend to take the term "pimp" literally, as in you probably have a ho or two running a track not to far from where you're reading this right now. Our two different trajectories necessitate two equally different perspectives on wtf a clown suit looks like.
Don't know; can't help you. But for the rest of you, it's really just a matter of style. 1-button, 2-button, 3? It's your call, get what you like. I don't know why half yall give a flying fig newton what I say anyway. Be brave youngbols. But I will say, a 1-button suit has a much shorter shelf life than that 2 or 3. The 1-button is an "Event" kinda suit. Get a wool suit or something of a natural wool blend. If it doesn't hang off your shoulders, it shouldn't hang down your wrists either. You don't need to be showing half your sleeve either tho. Just look normal. My personal thought about a suit is that it should make people want to look at me and not at my suit. I don't need my suit to be the spectacle. I got sneakers for that.
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Writer's Note: the irony of this post succeeding the post of Bentley, Kanye, and 3000 does not elude me. In fact, I find it hilarious. (See title)
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