Two Niggas In A Escalade...

So this past Tuesday night, I'm making spaghetti and watching Curb Your Enthusiasm when it's interrupted with one of those annoying test screens by the cable company. At least I thought it was a test. In reality, it turned out to be an official All Points Bulletin notifying me and every person watching TV that a white woman and her daughter were abducted by 2 black men in a Cadillac Escalade here in Philly. The report was made by the woman, who said she was locked in the trunk.

The next day, I and my coworkers discussed the alleged kidnapping along with some of the other crazy news stories that only happen in Philly. The whole "2 niggas in a Escalade" story didn't seem too kosher from the jump. And how are you making phone calls if you're kidnapped? Wouldn't a kidnapper have enough sense to take ur phone off you if he was gonna lock you in the trunk? Not to mention that they found the woman's real car somewhere downtown, parked nice and neat.

Well, turns out this heffa snuck off and went to Disneyworld like she wouldn't get caught. White people...