Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Where all the ladies in the house?

Prompted by David Kenneth's posting the Rich Boy video with the beautiful Keri Hilson, I have decided to compile a list of The Top 10 Hottest Women In The Game. To compile this list, I consulted the Brain Trust (no homo), which in this case, is myself. This is not You Hype! Sike Nah...'s list, seeing as Mr. Kenneth will most assuredly be dismayed to discover that Amerie is not on my list. Nonetheless, he and all readers are fully encouraged to contribute their own lists of the The Top 10 Hottest Women In The Game.

Being as I'm left of center, some of these women may be unfamiliar to you. Still others may not even be attractive to you. But that's when you realize that you don't matter as much as me and my opinion. :-)

Now, without further ado, the list:


The Top 10 Hottest Women In The Game


10. Scary Spice

She's not so scary. And maybe Eddie Murphy has some heterosexual left in him after all. And yes, she made the list purely off this photo.

9. Julianne Moore

Yes, I picked a pasty white woman who's closing in on a half-century years old. You cot durn right I did. Seen Boogie Nights? Seen Children of Men? If you have and didn't find that pale, old, red-headed white woman sexy as you-know-what, ur gay.

8. Kerry Washington

The whole time I watched "I Think I Love My Wife," between the times I thanked God for downloading it and not paying to see it, I gawked at just how B-B-B-B-B-BAD Kerry Washington was. And "Last King of Scotland," where she was a sexy lil African. Oh and Ray, where she was a blind man's gorgeous lil girl-next-door wifey.

7. Jessica Alba

C'mon ppl. She's Jessica friggin Alba. It's so cliche, but cliche or not, she's the truth.

6. Santogold
Santowho? I know, you've never heard of her. Youtube + Myspace. Waste time. Expand your horizons. If you're in NYC, go to a show.

5. Paula Patton
Yes. I chose the least tasteful of all the possible pictures. But I feel as though this (and her love scene with Andre 3000 in Idlewild) provides the best explanation possible. Sue me.

4. Keri Hilson
Without her, there would be no list.

3. M.I.A.

Stab yourself in the eye with a pitchfork if you don't know her by now.

2. Lauren London

No brainer. Pun not intended.

1. Vashtie Kola
Yes, this pic makes her look as though I randomly facebook-stalked some chick, but she's actually big on the underground, a girl about town, with a very famous on-and-off-again boyfriend. Google. It won't be so anti-climactic of an ending for you.


The Top 10 Hottest Women In The Game. I'm sure I forgot a few noteworthy women. Mel B aka Scary Spice aka Eddie Murphy's baby mama is barely on the list, but I doubt that anyone else could get knocked off (Not even Julianne Moore). An honorable mention goes to Taral Hicks and the dark-skinned chick from Pharrell's "Frontin'" video. Were they still making waves, they'da been on the list.

Adieu.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

YO! Can I at least get an honorable mention for Dania Ramirez? HAVE YOU SEEN SHE HATE ME? If you havent it will only push Kerry Washington up on the list...but there is a love scene featuring her and Ms. Ramirez. Shes the only reason I wince through Fat Albert AND she is a new character on the hit NBC show Heroes. Big time snub...


This is anonymous...but you know who it is...

Alice S. said...

In a totally heterosexual way...This is a good list!

Anonymous said...

Aight. 1st. ALL the anonymous posts have been from ya boy Jeffrey Taylor, Jr. I feel like I'm a part of this blog too, so to all the fans of "This is anonymous...but you know who it is..." I wanted to let e'erybody know just who it is (sorry for getting some lime on me Grease...)

Now for my Real reason of revisting this post. It was a great list...for Greasy. So I have decided to take you up on your offer and put up my own. I'd love to hear you feelings about my choices.

1. Lauren London- The lady who saw what was so “special” in T.I.
2. Paula Patton- Sexiest corpse ever (no Necro)…the only woman that could steal a scene from Mr. Washington, without even taking a breath.
3. MIA- “All I wanna do is”…you should know the rest.
4. Jessica Alba- “Little Nancy Callahan grew up and filled out…”- too bad she cant stumble her way into a quality film role.
5. Kerry Washington- She Hate Me. Kitchen Scene. Watch it. Repeat.
6. Dania Ramirez- (see Kerry Washington)
7. Kerry Hilson- Not bad meaning bad, but bad meaning good. Id love to fill her with my happy juice…
8. Amerie- It just one thing…she cant sing. But who cares when you have those legs to make up for it.
9. Sandra Bullock- You cant tell me you didn’t say “DAMN” when she walked out of the airport hanger in Miss Congeniality. If you didn’t, there’s only one explaination: you like boys.
10. Marsha Thomason- The only reason to sit through the horrendous attempts at comedy known as “The Haunted Mansion” and “Black Knight.”

Honerable Mentions:
Hayden Panettiere- Frankly the only reason shes not on the list is cuz she’s 17…I hope Chris Hanson doesn’t frequent your blog…

Halle Berry- Nuff Said

Yo mama- Sike Nah…did I use it right?

This is anonymous...but you know who it is...

ps. Dave stop making "in no particular order" lists. I need you to hurt some feelings...rank these hoes!

Call Me... "Mr. Garr" said...

ha. u have no fans nigga. ur like spliff star.

i will, however, concede that dania ramirez deserved a spot. and my list is pretty much objectively conclusive in it's ranking. this is confirmed in that u bit most my picks.

P.S. 17 year olds? If u ever join the team, ur name will be "Pied Piper".

Anonymous said...

I know, but I'm sure that when spliff dreams he's in the lime. AND I'll take spliff cuz that means he's good at what he does...being a sidekick. As comic books have told us its very difficult to find someone willing to play the role for very long. I'm a nigga that just wants to be good where I'm needed...in this instance I'm a good comment man. I dont bash the blog althoughi could allow the hate to take over. But I just want my peoples to succeed. you doin a lot of big things on this mug and I wanna say I was one of the first to board the train.

and I been called Pied Piper for the last to years of my life (cut to me dating a Freshman my junior and senior year of college) so id be used to it. However you cant tell me that her looks were not a factor in being picked for some of the roles shes played (cut to her guest starring roles on Law and order:SVU where she played a waaaay ahead of her time sexually mature teen). So yeah she's 17, but I'm not tryna hit. I'm just saying come next year (cuz i hope this is a recurring thing) she will be breaking into the top ten.

And i didnt bite your picks...maybe this is just proof of how similar we are as people. A fact that probably would give you the shakes at night (no homo) so dont think too hard about it. But it's true...

This is anonymous...but you know who it is...