Friday, October 20, 2006

"make time to live a little" -John Legend

Today was prolly one of the funnest days I've had teaching thus far. It's not like my kids were on their P's and Q's all day. I had one boy suspended before he even crossed the threshold into my classroom, the same kid and another student pushed each other's desks over and kicked them across the floor, there was constant cussing, arguments over who liked who and "I want my money" (what that was all about, i still don't know). Still, I had a great day.

Why? you ask.

Wu-tang.

For those not familiar with the Philadelphia phenomenon, the Wu-tang is not the 9 member clan of Staten Island emcees whose 36 chambers helped to revolutionize rap and bring hip-hop back to New York City. No. In Philly, the Wu-tang is a dance. It's a dance done to house music (or club music or Baltimore club music, whatever the phreak u wanna call it, it's all the same). It's raw, high energy and is hard to describe and even harder to demonstrate. That said, kids do the Wu-tang all the time here. While it's not so bad at Tilden as i've heard it is at other schools (where whole classes of students battle each other in the halls in lieu of actually going to class), you'd still be hard pressed to go through a day without seeing a kid doing the Wu-tang down the hall or even from their desk.

Anyway, I can do a little bit of the Wu-tang. Granted, I'm not from philly and i'm a dork, i could prolly hold my own with a group of 20-somethings (even though watching a 20somethings do the wu-tang is about as equally ridiculous as watching a 20something do the chicken noodle soup dance--which, in case u didn't realize, is ludricrously ridiculous). So today during reading, while my kids were working on personification, i snuck in little bits of the Wu-tang as i walked around the classroom looking for things in the pig sty known as room 401. Sy-yah was the first to notice and whisper to her table "Yo, i just seen mr garr doing the wu-tang!" as word spread in the classroom and as class neared a close, my kids begged me to do the wu-tang for them. i had already decided that i was doing the Wu-tang during math for my regular class (my reading class is different from my regular class--they're smart). I figured it would keep my regular class' attention and at least shut them up so the 7 to 8 kids who actually try to pay attention could learn something. but i actually like my reading class. i also do things with them that i would never do with my regular class for fun cuz it makes my regular class mad.

so as my reading class packed up to get ready to go back to their regular teachers, they crowded around me, wide-eyed with their hands up and their knees bent as though they were waiting to battle me at the wu-tang. admittedly, i was nervous. i'm always nervous when i'm put on the spot to do something. but i was like, who cares? they're 11 and 12 year olds. So i did it. was it good? heck nah! was it decent tho? yeah man! and my kids laughed at me and i laughed, and as my regular, clinically insane class filed back into my classroom, all they could say was "Mr garr u did the wu-tang?!" "why u always do fun stuff with ur reading class?!" "Mr. garr, u joe!" ("Joe" - adjective meaning "lame" especially when putting on a front).

Now, how could all of 7 seconds doing the wu-tang make my day great?
Easy.
I smiled.

sadly, for the month and some change that i've been teaching, i don't smile when i wake up, i don't smile when i get on the trolley, and definitely not when i get off at 66th and Elmwood. Each morning it takes me hours to get out the bed (literally). I've become a bitter cynic. My laughter is always sardonic, never jolly. Life as a teacher in the "Belly of the Beast" has not brought joy in my life. its filled with the most depressing and bleakest images everyday to a point that makes quitting the smartest decision.

But today I looked at my kids and saw children. I saw smiles. I saw people. not the "monsters" as Mr. Brown called them the day before school started when it was just me and him on the elevator. When he called the kids "monsters," i thought "these r the teachers u hear about. this is why i joined TFA." that was when i was ignorant, arrogant, and naive. Quickly, i learned why, and quickly i looked at my students as monsters too. They wouldn't listen, they destroyed anything they could get their hands on, they tried to get their hands on everything, and, as far as they were concerned, they could care less about "learning". They were crazy.

Did a simple dance change that outlook? Heck nah. My kids are monsters. They do the same things they did before. My Wu-tang did not make them want to learn any more than anything i had ever done before. But my kids are lovable monsters. They're human monsters, if that's possible. I guess, what I'm saying is, they're as normal as they can be, which, really, is pretty normal. (I write with far too many subjunctive clauses and interjectory statements).

So when math started and I started to sneak in the wu-tang when students stopped paying attention, i got to laugh and so did my kids who were paying attention. We actually covered two parts of one section of estimation with decimals in the midst of yelling, toppling desks, paper balls, 5 second boxing matches, laps around the room, and overall chaos. I think some kids learned. I was able to begin to differentiate for my super-smart girl Vernisha. Rugeiatu didn't throw nearly as many temper tantrums. Kids had their math books open and most were actually attempting the problems. It was still noisy, the room was an absolute mess and I still had to hold the class for a brief detention, but i smiled at the end of the day. Derrick, my cracked-out student who went home one night and made paper guns and paper fingers to sell at school the next day--and kids actually paid him for them--had his book open. He tried a couple problems, he wasnt breaking pens open and using the ink to draw on his desk. He even stood politely to take a picture before he left. It was surreal.

It's weird to think i learned all this from doing the Wu-tang. and really, i know it was a culmination of a number of different things that resulted in this epiphany, but today i came closer to being the teacher that commanded respect rather than one who demands respect.


And that's not purely semantics; we'll leave it at that. 8-)

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